A Day in the Life Round Two: More Sarcasm, More Caffeination

Since my last GifTalk post, I’ve gotten over (most of) my abject fear of independent practice, have started having a lot of fun, and definitely still do things every day that make me feel like a moron. Some glimpses from inside my brain:

When my first patient of the day asks me anything before I have finished my first cup of coffee:Image

 

And then I set up a sterile field for a Nexplanon insertion for my next patient in the most cramped and awkwardly spaced room ever, and the Medical Assistant and I manage to avoid bumping into each other

Image

And then my spirits are broken when I catch one of my male patients trying to look down my shirt while I do his exam

Image

But then I find more pleasure than I should in listening to the medical resident dig himself deep into a hole after the OB/GYN asks him a simple question, and he jumps off into a ridiculously bone-headed answer

raccoon

Then I’m brought back to reality from Sassytown when my MA asks how to  fill out the state gonorrhea/chlamydia forms:jerry and elaine

So I go to lunch, and find that the Teen program had leftovers that they put in the fridge and a bunch of Easter candy is on the table for anyone to take

jackpot

Someone, yet again, tries to show me a rash on a part of their body that does not include their genitalia:

Not my division

On abortion day one of the MA’s calls the clinician phone, trying to calmly state, “we need a clinician back in recovery,”

batman

That afternoon you remember why even though your flats are closed-toe shoes, they do not provide enough coverage as you accidentally drip a little pap smear onto your foot while trying to throw away the pap brush

jlaw

 

And then I have yet another patient tell me that they don’t want to have an IUD, even after I have laid out all of the statistics on how rare the complications are, because “they read a lot of bad reviews on the internet”

interweb

But then you feel like you bonded with a patient when discussing why women have a placebo week and a period on birth control pills, and you explain that the men who invented the pill didn’t want us women to worry our silly little heads about our bodies being different than usual, so they “gave us a period to make us feel better” and then tell her its fine to take her pills continuously and skip her period if she wants.

elaine

 

And just to make your day, you have to tell the MA that you’ll be a few minutes before heading in to see the next patient because the pharmacy that I just tried to call emergency contraception into refuses to stock it

hell to raise

And, of course, my favorite visits are those where I get to talk to young women about enthusiastic consent, using a lot of lube, encouraging masturbation and open communication about pleasure with partners, and after they are done giving me blank stares or blushing a bright shade of red I feel like:

Yep_i_went_there

 

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2 Responses to A Day in the Life Round Two: More Sarcasm, More Caffeination

  1. Caitlin says:

    Will I ever stop cackling to myself when residents get dressed down? NEVER. I love your blog, you are such a rockstar 😀

    • Caitlin, it was the first dressing down I had seen in a long time (watched a few family practice residents get chewed out on L&D during my training). I almost felt bad, but my only interaction with the resident that day had been me offering to come watch me insert a nexplanon, to which he firmly replied: “I did one of those yesterday.” and went back to looking at charts. So…I didn’t feel that bad for him.

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